Tuesday, October 25, 2005

Ode to Nettiemac

Hello all! I read from my friends, the Glecks, about an experience they had aboard a casino ship with their friend, the ever-wonderful nettiemac. It involved nettiemac doing a karaoke duet, pretty much against her will, with some drunk pathetic loser, just to get the poor guy to shut the hell up. What a trooper!!

However, the more I thought about it, I thought back to my first karaoke experience. It was in 2001, at my ex-wife's Christmas party at her place of employment. Well, being not just musically-inclined, but a musician myself (not professionally), & knowing that all of my ex-wife's employees knew it, they hounded on me to take the mike from the guy who was doing a terrible impression of Britney Spears. Finally, I took the stage, & managed to get the crowd to sing the chorus to Roger Miller's "King of the Road". Then, I did "Can't Help Falling in Love", Elvis impression and all, & the crowd went crazy! I chose to do one more & dedicated it to my wife: Eric Clapton's "Wonderful Tonight" (my ex loves that song, and it is, by far, my least favorite Clapton song). A good time was had by all - and we all were SOBER!! None of us drank that night (that's what I got for living in a dry county). How strange was that?

Since then, I have had a couple of karaoke experiences, courtesy of my family at the annual reunions (and alcohol definitely factored into that), but none as memorable as that first one with my ex.

OK - with all due respect to the wonderfully talented Nettiemac, humor me on this...

I got to thinking about something - one song that needs karaoke'd is "Paradise by the Dashboard Light"! I'm sure it has already been done, just not right. It really needs a good karaoke treatment. It needs to be done right, with the Phil Rizzuto play-by-play and everything. There is just one problem - I need someone to be the Ellen Foley to my Meat Loaf. Someone who, strangely enough, knows the words like I do.

What do you say, Nettiemac? Are you up for it?

That's it for this one. Later...

Bolivar "Karaoke King" Shagnasty

Saturday, October 22, 2005

Our D-I-V-O-R-C-E becomes fi - wait a second!!

(With apologies to the late Tammy Wynette...)

I went to my lawyer's office yesterday to look at and sign the papers that my soon-to-be-ex-wife hand delivered to my lawyer's office. Everything looked good; everything looked legit. I saw the list of personal items that the ex wanted - I'm still upset that she wants the map of the world that we have framed on the wall, but that's fine. If she wants it bad enough, she can have it - I can always get another one.

I am also a little upset at the fact that I should have to pay my attorney's fees, since the ex got me into this mess (hey, I wasn't the one who was unfaithful & had two kids by another man), but the ex says I get to keep the house & my 401k plan intact. If I can keep those two items, I'll pay my attorney.

However, a glitch occurred when I read the papers yesterday. Nothing - and I mean nothing - was mentioned about my 401k in the paperwork. My lawyer also noticed this, & I told my lawyer that I refuse to sign the papers until info about my 401k is added. Everything else looked good, & I could have easily signed the papers, but I do not like surprises. My ex is just the type of person who would come out later & say that she wants a part of my 401k.

A lesson for anyone that ever has to go through this (and I hope you never do): DOCUMENT EVERYTHING. GET EVERYTHING IN WRITING.

The ex calls me at work about 4 p.m., & she is very upset. I told her no problem - just get her attorney to add the page on Monday. She then told me that we should have been divorced today, that she hoped we could have been divorced today. She also told me that her parents are coming to town next weekend, & she was hoping to marry a guy who shall, in my eyes, be forever known as the Ultimate Hot Springs Redneck (UHSR). She wanted her parents to be in attendance for the wedding (they'll be the only ones there). And now they will have to wait a little longer. I said, in my best imitative New York voice, "Gee, kid, you're breaking my heart."

It may be crazy, but I told my ex that I wanted to cover all the bases & leave no stone unturned. That's why I didn't sign the papers yesterday. I also know that when I do sign the papers, that's it - it's all over. I can't wait for it to be over, but there will always be that thought of "what might have been..."

What hurts me the most is that I did nothing wrong. If I had beat my wife, if I had put her down every day, if I was the one who was having an affair, I would say to myself that I deserve everything that I am getting now. What I will be accused of, by my family & my closest friends, is trying to make the marriage work. I will be accused of being loyal, faithful, & devoted to my soon-to-be-ex-wife. Anyone who says different, including my ex & her family, just doesn't know the facts.

My ex says she hates talking to me now because it seems that I am always in a bad mood. Let's get one thing straight, my soon-to-be-ex: moods have nothing to do with it. At one time, you were the best friend I ever had. I would have went through every circle of hell & back again with you. I was lucky - I felt that I had married my best friend. So, at one time, you were my best friend - now, you are my worst enemy. You have to deal with that title & everything that goes with it. Basically, what it boils down to is that I can care less about you. I'm looking out for good ol' Bolivar now.

As far as their wedding, whenever it is, instead of marching down the aisle to the typical wedding song, I have the perfect song they should march down to. I think it also describes their future together: "Hell Awaits" by Slayer from 1984. Good luck, guys.

Anyway, for whoever reads this junk, I need some input. I am putting together a compilation CD together. I am calling it the BDM - Bolivar's Divorce Mix. Here are the songs I have on my list so far:
1. "Jailbreak" - Thin Lizzy (a lot of history behind this one - ask Tal)
2. "Free Bird" - Lynyrd Skynyrd (my father's favorite song)
3. "I'm Free" - The Who
4. "Freedom" - Jimi Hendrix
5. "Back in the High Life" - Steve Winwood
6. "Key to the Highway" - Derek & the Dominoes
7. "Fly Like an Eagle" - Steve Miller Band
8. "Love Stinks" - J. Geils Band
9. "Your Time is Gonna Come" - Led Zeppelin

Can you sense a theme here? I would love some more input on this.

Gotta go - work calls. Bolivar Shagnasty... good day!

Monday, October 10, 2005

Welcome to Intro to Bolivar, or Bolivar 101, or How I Finally Succumbed to following my friends & creating my blog!

Welcome to Bolivar's Blog.

Bolivar is one of the many nicknames I have, courtesy of my father some 30+ years ago. I am pretty sure that some of those nicknames are unprintable! I think, if you are a family member or a close friend reading this, it's not hard to figure out who I am.

"If you want to find out what's behind these cold eyes / You just have to claw your way through this disguise" - Pink Floyd, 1979

I will be using this blog from time to time to share my opinions, my thoughts, my hopes, my dreams. The topics run the gamut from movies to music to sports to personal views on life, liberty, & the pursuit of more money.

I am sure, from time to time, some people will be upset by what I have to say. I am sure arguments will be started. That's OK. Just remember, everyone is different. I think I am smart enough to know that what works for a lot of people does not work for me; likewise, what works for me may not work for a lot of people. I'm cool with that. The term is "differences". It's the differences between people that makes all of us unique & original. I like that. It's also called "learning". It makes me think sometimes, "Wow! I didn't know that!!"

I welcome feedback, especially from the Gleck family - Talmadge, Seraphim, & Tiger. Actually, I expect feedback from you three!!

Ending for now - Jerry Springer is on. Hey, I need a good laugh sometimes!!

Happy Birthday, John Winston Lennon, who would have been 65 yesterday. You are missed a lot.

G'day, eh?

~Bolivar Shagnasty, 10/10/05